Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Unpopular Durarara!! Opinions - Volume 2: Izaya Orihara sucks

There is a statement I will stand by for the remainder of my life and always stash to keep as a reference for later: popularity does not amount to quality, which is why subjectivity exists. just because the majority seem to be in unanimous agreement that something is good, does not mean it actually is good to all. For there will always be at least one disdained with that particular thing who believes it doesn't deserve the popularity it gets or the right to exist whatsoever.

And nowhere is this theory more painfully highlighted than in the case of Durarara!! and one of its most famed characters, Izaya Orihara. I hate Izaya Orihara with almost every fiber in my being, nowhere in any other series have I ever examined a supposed antagonist and been so underwhelmingly saddened by what could have been or what could have replaced him. In a series of ensemble, the only thing that keeps Izaya afloat at all is the supporting cast, and Shizuo, perhaps, who is another one of those characters I would categorize as 'overrated', but at least he has some sort of crisis...

Unimpressive, with an irksome personality that makes me want to break my drywall, a droll backstory, and a design that resembles a weasel on the prowl for small mammalia to pin, Izaya Orihara from the beginning was never someone who truly caught me in any sort of captivation, only a character that existed as safe villainous fodder while the real deviants worked their magic in the darkness of each arc. In a series that was supposed to be dark, he was not light, but he was hardly pitched black. He was at best, dimly lit at all times. Generic.

Morally corrupt in many ways he may be, but in his execution of character, every action of his that's supposed to be nefarious only comes across as irritatingly bland. Izaya simply is not tragic enough in a story that embodies so much of it, mentally ill seemingly without purpose and eternally cheery without even the slightest bit of disruption or event horizon, this consistency and staleness throughout completely soils any potential his character did have, and makes him seem incredibly hateful and disinteresting to boot. None of his arcs were any of my favored, and despite him having some pivitol role, I always thought him to be replaceable.  Nasujima, perhaps, would've been a grittier choice, but too offensive for the youngsters to digest.

A textbook example of a safe villain with no exciting past or tragedy, Izaya's supposed 'coolness' may capture the attention of some, but to my sense of taste, is nothing but pretentiousness wrapped up in what happens to be an equally pretentious design that still is somehow astonishingly meh. He never has any climaxes or arcs where he learns anything, he tends to escape unscathed or with minor beatings, until the final act where he's finally dealt some form of karmatic justice, even if it unfortunately does not end his life and existence in its entirety. I for one am not a fan of subtlety, but Izaya's brand of what was supposed to be 'subtlety' to me is projected in such a way that I simply cannot find in my heart the sympathy or the care to want him to win, live, or contribute. The story would be on perhaps better footing with less dragging out of arcs if a more tragic villain swept in to replace the bore, and thirteen volumes wouldn't be as excessive and towards the end, lousily paced as they were, if not for a little diddy with the initials IO.

Simply put, there are much, much better examples of villainy in fiction than Izaya, which is why it's so shocking that he is highly ranked as he is. In almost all senses I undeniably am repulsed or bored by him. He's a dumb broad with some level of luck whose supposed mental illness was improbably brought on by boredom in a nonsensically booooring backstory that explains nothing of value and wastes pages. A yawnfest. Total yawnfest. Nasujima deserved to overtake him, man. He really did.

me & netizenbuzz: censorship extravaganza

the neverending retardation that is netizenbuzz is what used to keep me slightly entertained when i first discovered its cesspool of a comment section that even satan would be calling 'excessive', but that slowly dissipated with time.

contrarily to my past bans from sites for being too much of a politically correct ninny, seventhstyle being the primary example (even if most of its views were garbage from my subjective standpoint, not for the same reasons that i previously stated during my phase of idiocy, but rather because their taste was utter shit and their articles often focused on worthless ecchi series while trashing decent shows).... netizenbuzz, whether it be run by a sole mod or a group of idiots, banned me for being too 'incorrect' for the site's taste.

Of course, when I read the site's "FAQ" section that I had never viewed prior, things became appallingly clear, with the usage of typical tumblr buzzwords like 'ableist' that the mod(s) swung towards the radicalist left, that of which I happen to absolutely despise.

The main argument that got me banned was a little diddy about how people are oversensitive and conditioned little pussies who shit their pants at the slightest usage of a word they consider to be offensive, the word in question being 'dyke'. Now, I'm not exactly going to defend usage of it, but on the web, and in real life, like all offensive terms, it'll eventually  be heard and the usage of it is beyond a person's control unless they wish to language police the world surrounding them by yelling abruptly and rudely at anyone who uses it in their presence, which would ultimately make them look like loons who need to be strapped to a padded wall. I myself am not a user of the word, the worst I've gone as far as what whiners will arguably call 'homophobic slurs' is using faggot in the internet context, or using fag at the end of a word to symbolize a particular infatuation with something (I'm a Nasujimafag, for example). Thus, I am not guilty of it, all i've done is say that people's free speech is technically theirs, and that censorship does not solve squat.

The initial argument that had absolutely nothing to do with the article itself was from a user titled 'bo han', who'd proceeded to lapse into a 'your fave is problematic' styled listing of the wrongdoings of jennifer lawrence, when a fan proceeded to say that she like jlaw. I can't really remember what the article was about precisely, nor is that the issue. The issue is, I per se, called out (man, how I hate using that term, because most callouts, see "your fave is problematic" styled arguments for primary callout bait) said user for resorting to such petty tactics in attempt to defame her, and to bring it up when it had absolutely nothing to do with the fan's commentary was quite inappropriate, even if perhaps in a ruder and more coarsely worded way than I would've preferred, and continuing this string of comments eventually got me banned after I called said user something along the lines of a spineless pussy who couldn't handle the web fully, living in her pathetically censored bubble. And honestly, to this day, I do not take that statement back.

Sheesh, the amount of teenagers and regressive adults trapped in childhood believing that their haughtiness and absorption into a cute little circle of safe, squishy, clouded space that doesn't represent the real world at all is pretty fucking heinous. The fact that into their twenties, students are still believers in safe spaces, naptime, harsh punishment for speech they're slightly offended by, or people refuting their left equivalent of the radicalist bullshit from the right is pretty infuriating. My generation is a set of oversensitive pussies who can't accept reality for what it is, so they must confine themselves to one online that's blandly conditioning them to paranoia that everything and everyone is an enemy or oppressor that's out to get them and that they are something that they're not. And it's all one harmful, enormous circlejerk that never advances them to higher stages of maturity, or considerable growth.

This is all honestly coming from someone who leans more leftly, that far left radicals are just as toxic as their right counterparts, no matter how the two refuse to acknowledge their connections, their centralized goals are structured the same; just squander anyone who disagrees with you, because you're always goddamn right, and everyone else is crazy. and if you really want to, censor them. it's their right as human beings to be offended by even satirically caustic statements from the viewpoint they disagree with, so thus, it must be their right to censor it.

Well, just further proof we're going to hell in a handbasket. I can't even try and say that people shouldn't be offended by one usage of one word that's considered to be 'incorrect', even in a nonoffensive or even an ignorant way, perhaps a way where it was taken out of context- let alone on the fucking internet, where everyone is purposely offensive for the sake of being offensive, without being socially scolded for it. Kalukafuckinglayyyy.

Well, I'd expect nothing less from those who identify with a nonexisting gender in a nonexisting fantasy world with their nonexisting sexuality on the tumblr spectrum being trapped somewhere between 'confused' and 'completely and utterly braindead'.

Saturday, June 25, 2016

got shitfaced again, if it wasn't obvious

it's now 12:55 on saturday and my head buzzes achingly with the memory of myself pissily writing some sad attempt to try and release my bottled anger, which i'm not even going to bother deleting because this shitty blog's purpose seems to be solely dedicated to released despondency, so why should i hide it?

yes, i am still salty, clinging to the notion that a shitton of people have seen me as nothing more than disposable on account of the fact that my issues sometimes obstruct what'd otherwise be a very successful relationship of any sort. apparently they are so bad that nobody can see past them. and when i have nights like the aforementioned, it just reinforces that, as i sit down watching Nolan films in utter inebriation pouring myself another by the minuto.

my headache is hardly right now the most painful part of the postdrunk experience, what's always pestered me about the morning after a night of consuming toxins is the hardness that settles at the pit of my stomach, the abdominal discomfort of having godknowshow many ounces of liquor fermenting there and heavily weighing. it's not so much a feeling of incontinence as it is the psychological reminder of the night before and how i could be continually so asinine as to imbibe like this whenever an onslaught of furious emotional turmoil ravages me. you think after all this time i would be over it, that i would be happily  living my ilfe as someone who has an actual job and some form of a lousy degree that counts for something, yet i'm still plagued by what'd otherwise be banished to the annals of my mind if it weren't for the pain that resonated over it.

you wish you could just move on, but there's someone always scratching at the door begging for regression. you wish you could just stop being issued altogether to avoid evver being treated like someone's waste again, you wish you could stop downing medication prescribed by doctors who just keep finding more deficiency arise, but you never do, and it's always there.

part of me is still weakened, and it's not ideal. i'm not ideal by any stretch. i can pride myself in some of my accomplishment, but at the end of the day, a part of me is always going to linger in a stance that says "you can't, you're incapable, you're unforgivable, audrey". you'll never amount to anything. after all, that's what they've eventually said. even my father furiously resorted to such pettiness in my NEET stint. and it's proof that humanity is shit. everyone leaves. there is nothing ideal, there is no one perfect who'll unconditionally adore you for who you are, and people are gonna be more prone to leave if you're the farthest from perfection, even if they themselves refuse to acknowledge their own flaws in the hypocrisy of leaving you for your own.

you've been down before, you've been hurt before, you got up before, and it's an endless cycle.
maybe you aren't long for this world, honey, says something in the back of my mind. and i don't know. in an unknowing, tricky life with an undefined start, an undefined trek, and an undefined end, what's the point in living truly to a fullest point? just let it breeze by as undefined as its unknown span.

never befriend anyone outside yourself, never fully trust anyone wholeheartedly, never give yourself to anyone or anything else. simply live in an eternal caution where nothing and no one can hurt you, and you'll never have the shards of the past occasionally streak across the bare skin of your back. then you're fuckin' invincible. living in the least humanly way possible.