Thursday, January 8, 2015

Message to the B-I-T-C-H

your little bitch ass has no room to be commenting on me.

Okay„ you want to be mentally sick, it’s clear!! Yes, it’s blatantly clear from what you insinuate that you want to be special because you’re an average height relatively avg weight for Americans (i.e. portly ) and not very good looking (im being nice here). So you want to indulge in a fantasy where you’re something besides droll and boorish, you want to feel special.

Well don’t we just fucking all, you little, stereotypical. teenage. brat. 

look at me look at me, calling attention to yourself, you are no better than the very vacuous white girls you denounce and reject as “allies” in your queer little unreality circle, even if you’re not taking pretentious airbrushed selfies you are very much indulging in the gen z vanity, and whether it’s a different form or not I don’t give a fuck either way. It’s vanity plainly and simply. And we all indulge in it but you my former “friend” are taking it to grotesque levels and literally in the process dehumanizing people who are actually mentally ill and trans. You and all your other transtrending trash friends.

I had been on tumblr but a year and a half or so when I discovered the phenomena and specimen known as agender ninny, and while you at first were but a nuisance you’ve now come full circle round the realm of sanity and delved into otherkin psudeo-pronoun territory. Essentially you started out crazy and you ended up craziER, but I always knew you had it in you to deconstruct yourself to a monstrosity like this because you’re a pathetic little worm who thrives off hurting people and then seeking validation from others because you think those people are the ones who offended and hurt you. And now adding to your piling list of vices your constant pleas of political correctness even if none of the pronouns you use are human ones. It / its is reserved for objects and IMHO? dehumanizing, literal objectification through wording, and one of the worst pronouns for a human I could think of. zie is like. what is zie. are you five. did you mispronounce she and decide to retain your five year old selves speech pattern? it’s infantile and childish, two words that describe you so perfectly.

Putting aside your “identity” and pronouns that required ridiculously long example usage lists you’re mainly dehumanizing people who are officially diagnosed with mood and personality disorders and also dissociative disorders.

I myself was diagnosed bpd in November officially and the two weeks preceding it in which i overstressed to the point of panic attacks, me taking 3 sleeping pills at once and also going on an tirade. It was the worst two fuckin weeks of my life, because I was humiliated and confused over the aspects of bpd itself and what information was real and what was sjws spouting bullshit!! What it made me!! How it only made me a worse person!!! Etc. And in those weeks I had to refrain from telling my shrink and my father and it ate me from the inside out. It ATE ME. It fucking gnawed on my organs and my brain and made my scholastic progress decline til I started falling asleep in class and stopped eating the veery little food I was eating.

If I kept it any longer withheld after about a month I would’ve undoubtedly relapsed. Being 18 I thought that psych probably couldn’t be forced on me so id probably end up committing suicide. For like, the fifth time in 2014!!

Some days I was fickle and thinking maybe being bpd wouldn’t be so bad but my mania would often be accompanied by spells of depression, and soon I began just to see the hope in nothing anymore. I rly wanted to die.

No one to talk to, and nothing to say, little me was wasting away.
At least you have people to talk to, and that alone makes you a more privileged fuck than I.

Yeah, now tell me, if you really feel you are suffering Dissociative Identity Disorder as you keep saying, or NPD, or any other mood disorder. are YOU REally experiencing fluctuations? You also claim to be bpd? You don’t seem to be experiencing ANY of these fluctuations at all. You know I’m not exactly a psych professor but the psychoanalysis of you is simple and plain and written in black and white on a slab of printer paper:

Attention whorism.

You’re imitations of mentally ill people with BPD and other disorders are very convincing to those who don’t see through facades or know squat about psychology, and those who didn’t know you beforehand, when you never at all claimed to be mentally ill and at most, autistic: when you typed like a mature young adult as supposed to a child learning how to type on a desktop keyboard. I can see right through how fucking transparent you are. And so can the rest of the real world.

I’ve been diagnosed depressed since 8 by psychologists and passed around from each one to each one as they tried to dictate throughout my childhood - as a stingy little introvert kid with a demented mind - what the hell I was suffering from. The list they compiled at first ranged from autism to ADHD and all the colorful diseases in between.

My mother started insulting me on a daily or every two day basis - if I was lucky - around that time. But I have a predisposition to depression and a permanent chemical imbalance in my bimbo brain.

I highly doubt you have that same problem, in fact your brain seems to be highly functional in spite of the fact that your typing skills are subpar and childlike.

As for you talking a shitton about your “abuser”?

WHAT abuser?

Abused? Ha. Ha. Ha. HAAHAAAAAA. I laugh at your insolence there. Is it your sister and mom for telling you to snap out of the whole otherkin fantasy? Because. Honey, that’s not fucking abusive, that’s trying to HELP you. And the first couple times you told me off, in hindsight you were right yeah, AND TRYING TO HELP ME, but now I can’t even begin to take you seriously because you have become a joke!!! A joke!!! I can’t believe it. Claiming to be abused for attention and special snowflake brownie points. I am going to fucking cry. My mother berated me for years to the point of where I tried to OD on her pills at 11 y/o for the first time- and you mock that!!! YOU MOCK THAT!!!! by claiming to be abused for extra pizazz and brownie points!!

How. Much. Scraping. At the. Bottom. Of the. Barrel. Can you do??!!! How low can you fucking GO? Clearly lower than this!!! Clearly lower than this even if I can’t imagine you pulling a more atrocious stunt, hyperbolizing a more ludicrous lie!!!

It hurts that I have to tell you these things because you’re clearly suffering a severe case of “mommy and daddy both work and don’t love me boohoo” but acceptance is part of stabilizing yourself again and THAT IS WHAT I WANT ALL OF YOU KIDS tO DO. Being like this isn’t healthy and it PAINS me physically to see this! It pains me, because as a person you used to have so much potential and kind exuberance about you, yet you’ve reduced yourself to bottom sucking scum!!! It pains me because I thought you were smarter than that!! I thought you’d be smart enough to stop perpetuating sj by the time you were older and wiser, but I was wrong, wrong, wrong!! You’re as petty and as immature as ever and it’s painful! Why can’t you just admit to yourself that attention deprivation is the basis for all this? Because you’re getting what you want here!?! This isn’t the real world and never will be!! This is a cesspool full of false and fake entitlement and fictional unhealthy tendency !!! This is a sick place that is clearly only causing you to denounce reality! What you’re getting here isn’t real! It’s from people who’ve never heard you vocalize in real life or have seen your face in person!! It’s not real! It’s not real no matter how much. Realism it seems to possess. It is not reality and I am ashamed that someone can’t distinguish the difference, that all of you can’t distinguish the difference. 

Even I enjoy the fantasy and indulge in my fictional world, but only for an allotted time. I almost accidentally caught myself in the snare that many of you and these other children are entangled in - BUT averted it by mere inches!

Why do you see mental illness as a commodity or necessity to assume your identity here, and why so many of them, including contradictory disorders that’d never irl be diagnosed as coexisting disorders, huh? I’m confused why such fad is is trending and why it’s nearly worshiped. Is it the benefits and the sympathy, the pity and the attention, all of that, keeping you from actually accepting the fact that you’re not mentally ill at all?

What’s wrong with being healthy?

Mental illnesses are some of the most accursed scourges that can be imposed upon a human being, flaws in their brain chemistry that inhibit their functionality indefinitely. They have affected me to the point where I’ll probably never able to be overcome them fully. My bodily view will likely always be skewed and dysmorphic and my sense of identity unsure. My cheer will never reach a peak and I’ll never be fully happy, that’s the lesser of the grim prognosis’ i have in mind for myself. Mental illness is not, i repeat, not something that should be glorified and faked for an attention garnering ploy, or a phase. It’s sick to even think of doing so. It’s so insulting to all my mentally agonizing pain and my warring thoughts and what I have to live with and the pain of those who also suffer from my problems. Very real contradictions and constant mood swings, self hatred and self love coupled, and the feeling that u will never have any comfort in who you are and what you want to be. Living like this is one of the worst ways to live; and yet you act as if it is something celebratory. No . My mental problems are fucking revolting and I don’t want to see them glorified by a young, dumb teen who does not understand the interworkings of actual bpd!!

Stop!!!
I plead you, please please at least take bpd off your “disorder ” list. It’s paining me to have to be grouped in the same camp as you, transtrending scum. It’s paining me physically and making my stomach boil with anger. 

Haven’t you already tortured me enough by purposefully abandoning me and leaving me with crippling trust issues?!! Haven’t you done enough to hurt me because you were offended by what I did and refused to tell me when I asked repeatedly if you were offended? Can’t you at least do one thing for me because for once, I am the one offended here? I’m not going to bow down and kiss your fucking feet because that’s fucking unrealistically gross and you know it, but if you will please please respect my wishes to TAKE BPD OFF YOUR LIST OF “DISORDERS”? It’s not true thAt you have bpd and its fucking insulting to actual people with BPD not limited to me alone, but the rest whom actually are diagnosed, BY A DOCtor, WITH BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER!!!

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