Monday, May 26, 2014

The angry me's back

I don't even... look like a person. I look like the shell of one.
Given, my pneumonia was worse friday, but... this is my current mood.

EDIT: this was taken two days before my hospital admission. I completely forgot. i'm pretty sure the anger's permenantly embedded on my face, or was, at this point in time.

....

Well, back to shit again, I've been diagnosed with pneumonia. The crowd cheers. Wildly. And I cough on them all for their insolence.

You know, life sucks lately. I'm at a loss for inspiration, eleven or twelve days I've been ill, three days out of that I've been drunk, and three of those drunk days, I've posted things that have further aggravated tensions that I was trying to leave dormant, because when I'm buzzed, when I'm fully drunk even, under the influence of vodka! I don't know what I'm flippin' doing! But nobody cares about that, it's the mistakes you make under the influence that humiliate and make people unfollow without explanation and demean without context, calling you things like 'creepy stalker'!

It's really great. It's so great it makes me want to unlock the gunsafe that belongs to my mom's BF, take out a hunting rife, stick it as close to my mouth as possible, and pull that bloody trigger! It's that great! Thanks for the reconsiderations regarding suicide, you heinous human beings! You wanna see me die? Don't you??!!!! YOU WANT IT, DON'T YOU, IGNORANT FILTH?! ESPECIALLY YOU, YOU'RE THE FILTHIEST PIG OF EM' ALL, WALLOWING IN YOUR MUD, GIGGLING AT MY PNEUMONIC STATE AND MY ADMISSIONS OF SELF HATRED?