Monday, December 9, 2013

cassie you are to fucking blame

sorry girl, but as a close friend, I must pass the blame onto you for showing me shmegeh's blog. I mean, no offense, it's just that, every time I go there, I feel like she impacts me negatively, and further reinforces my once nearly Ana status. And that's bad. 

My childhood friend recently ended up in the hospital with an ED and acc to my sister if I don't stop being obsessive with my body (which she says is a less severe ED itself) then I'm next. I don't think i'm next. It's just that, when I run across the likes of Michelle and Felice I feel very worthless compared to them, and ugly. In spite of them being sticks they still manage to keep a very pretty face. Meanwhile I'm just this bulbous nosed, round faced mutant creature.

K-Pop just makes me feel inferior .it's the bodies. it's the faces. it's the popiness and happiness of it all that makes me want to suffer. Suffering while they live their slave contract lives out with plenty of money, even if they're fucking miserable; knowing that they will amount to more than I ever will depresses me.

I literally cried my ass off last night like a fucking baby over all this shit.

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