Thursday, September 26, 2013

Halloween

The time when usually lame bitches like meh gets to dress up. With my weight loss I've become confident enough to wear a slutty costume this year, so what should I go for this year? I'd rather wear a dress or skirt top combo, something that covers my belly.... so I was thinking of the following...
I still have nice hooters, so I want something that fits snug on the chest but poofs 'round the upper thighs, or is tight all over and can be coupled with one of those small petticoats and stockings. Gives me confidence. Makes me feel happy about myself for a night.
I'm trying to be classy-slutty, not cheap-slutty. The petticoat gives an extremely short outfit a classier lift. Cop / Sailor generally don't have petticoats or poofy skirts. I'm seriously considering something that looks like my goldilocks from middle school, at least, chest and skirt wise, except, this time with stockings.

This was my middle school costume. Literally, it's the exact fucking costume
Or at least, it looks like it. It's hiding downstairs among the billions of previous Halloween costumes.
I can't post pictures atm so here, take the picture link

German Beer Maid / Beer Girl
Sexy Heidi (to honor my quarter German blood liar liar you just wanna show off)
Swiss Girl (similarly designed to the German beer maid, except Swiss. I'm Scandanavian too, but Swiss are technically German)
Maid, as in French Maid
Fem!Robin Hood
Red Riding Hood
Sexy Strawberry Shortcake (ruining your childhood one costume at a time)
Dorothy
Snow White
Alice in Wonderland
Sexy Kitty / Mouse / Bunny (Mean Girls anyone? I'm a mouse, duh!)
Cop (or SWAT or FBI or CSI or local police, IDGAF)
Sailor / Pirate
Something gothic (vampire, goth fairy, wednesday addams
Nurse
Sexy Mafia maybe? (There are some cute fem gansta costumes, and I'm talking mobster, not the ratchet)
Schoolgirl  (Nasujima territory, wandering into the Nasujima territory)

Things I Will Not Be:
Stripper (even for me that's too showy. it's not even classy-slutty, it's just plain slutty)
Pimp (I saw pimp costumes, and they are just too much)
Ghost (I'm not wearing a sheet over my head, and there are basically no sexy ghost costumes anywhere. I want something that looks like I put effort into prepping it, not a sheet)
Banana (no thanks, no Onision for me)
Flapper (does not look good on girls like me with more curvature imho; flappers = flat)
Myself in plain me clothes (self explanatory)
Hippie (except for maybe a short hippie dress, I wouldn't go hippie. The psychedelic colors hurt my, and other people's eyes)
A guy (that's guy territory, I wanna be a girl who dresses like a fucking girl. Genderbends don't count)
Ratchet anything (I'm no wigger, I don't try to act hood)
Nicki Minaj (Harajuku Barbie hurts my eyes. make up's too heavy, my butt isn't surgically modified, and Nicki's wigs are ridiculous)
Miley Cyrus (chicken butt? No thanks. Her outfits are all too belly baring for my tastes)
Anything that makes me look chunky. So, any one of those gigantic character costumes.
Plus sized anything (I am not)
What my sister is being (Tigger from Winnie the Pooh, they actually have bodysuits for that. She's too flat to dress as anything slutty and pull it off)
Southern Bell (not proud of being a southwesterner, so I ain't gonna wear no southern bell. Also, too long. Ruffles go down to your feet. NOPE)

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