Thursday, June 6, 2013

No self acceptance

HeBlerghhh, two days of school left and months of boredom, Sony Vegas editing, TV watching, pool and exercising ahoy.

Also, my top keeps slipping off my left shoulder, or what I think is my left shoulder.

Btw it's always slipping off of the aforementioned shoulder.  
Maybe it's because I like my clothes looser, so I don't  care
But I'm losing weight in all the wrong WRONG PLACES. My shoulders were bony to begin with. However, my legs and waist and everything are a different story.

Waist isn't small enough. I look like Kate Upton, and yes, she's an attractive lady, but me and her share something, a lack of waist. Ewwwwww I thought I was curvy until now what drugs was i on?
Thighs are still too thunder-y for my liking

While my ass has flattened to the point of where its resemblance to a pancake is uncanny my thighs have muscled more up, thus making them look FATTER from when they started. Also, my stomach's really, really… less than beautiful.

Hyosung body is not obtainable
Abort mission, abort.
There are days I say I'm happy with myself at 116 lbs but I desperately want to shrink to 110 just so I can lose some motherfucking waist weight
If anything I blame my mother for this fucked up body. If her skinny, lack of waist family weren't mixed with the curvy waisty family, of my father then I'd be normally proportioned. But no! No. No no no i look like a weird… BELL shape! Ewwwww. Also, I'm taller than Hyosung.
And my legs don't look like… kpop legs. They're not lengthy. Though theirs off camera probably aren't either; but it's not reassuring.

Basically, to sum up my changes in attitude all the time about my body:

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