Thursday, May 30, 2013

Methinks that I need to lose more weight

I'm still on that kick
That kick 
That weight loss kick
I want to go down to 110 desperately, 50 kilos plz
So I've been exercising more excessively than usual, going on the treadmill as supposed to a leisurely dog walk. For an hour as supposed to 30 minutes.
I have stretch marks on my thighs, remainders of them anyway, my calves are scarred from things, specifically bugs, my father's friend's cat, and everything going at them like they're a food source, and my legs still look so bloody average in length that it makes me want to cry. I mean, what'd I do to deserve this? Genetics weren't kind to me. While my sister ended up with the lean waif figure of my mother's fam, the long legs, the athletic ability, and the pretty face; I ended up being the fug one with a harder to maintain, weird body shape, short legs, a long, disproportional torso, and a round face which always looks especially fat in pictures anyone else takes.
I've tried but I just can't get down to that ideal weight
Like, the lowest I've been is 114, and I still don't look like I'm on the edge of underweight.

I'm turning into an anorexic, I don't even drink soda anymore, the worst I drink is juice so I don't suffer constipation
Most days I skip lunch
I'll take melatonin at night so I can lose weight while I sleep
I'm practically Seohyun's real weight, 52 kilos but I want LOWER.