Saturday, November 24, 2012

the shitty introduction

Well, what can I say? I'm a 16 year old, a procrastinator, a pirate, I like various types of music.

My name's Audrey, I wish my parents had opted for something more common. My original name would've been Olivia.

I have a very active and, for lack of a better word - BAD - self image complex, regarding my weight especially. I'm fat by model and azn standards yet I am considered skinny by general US standards- (because 160lbs and 5'3 is the average height and weight here - there's a reason we are all stereotyped as obese) but either way I continue to attack myself. Like, you're an ugly fat bitch with fat cheeks and a fat face and you need to lose weight because you need to be a size 0. I want to be 50 kilos like freaking Yoona like now. Not a whale 59 kgs - plz. Genetics went wrong with me because I'm not tall or thin or short and thin. I'm a nasty little pig in a family of polished models.

The physical features I sort of actually like about myself are my eyes and my boobs. :P but that sure doesn't make up for all my emofagging about my other less than stellar body parts.

I hate, no, I strongly DETEST school, though what I hate the most about my school is my simplistic idiot schoolmates (with the exception of a few NICE PEOPLE and the person I have feelings for) and my shitty selection of online classes. So I often find myself distracted and unable to complete certain assignments.

I pirate most of my music though when I do buy the RIAA's shit, I buy a decent amount of it. I am afraid of getting my ass sued. The MAFIAA probably doesn't care if I'm under 18, as long as they're able to sue the shit out of me. I hate our fascist little music industry, I hate the fascist music groups all around the world, and yet I still buy their products. I am terrible.

I like JP music and anime, but I don't go around yelling out in random Japanese, or wearing crazy ass little cat tails, or milanoo Lolita dresses (ew). In other words, I dabble in Japanese culture but I don't go around creepin' people out with weeaboo behavior; I've already gone through that stage, mmmmkkk? Same thing goes for Korea except it's just music. I don't spurt out various Korean phrases or call my superiors oppars and unnies. I just like Korean music. I technically have no bias either.
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I'm 5'5. I wish to be taller, but not giant.
Brown hair, brown eyes, freckles; my face is bland. White as wonderbread, like my profile description says.

If I had to pick one school subject as my favorite, it would be history/social studies.

If I had to pick my most hated subject, it'd be math. I actually used to be among the top math students during my earlier school years, but when I began taking the dreaded algebra i, that all changed. Good 'ol high level math, my worst enemy.
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Divorce sucks.
Period.
End of story.
......…
I am hesitant to reveal my entire bitchy past....
So I'm going to say this and this alone.
I used to slit my wrists out of anger, pain, and hate. People would bully me, emotionally mostly, though sometimes physically- call me more than unkind names (some choice words: slut, fat, bitch, fugly, ho, worst person ever). I had some friends but even their defenses couldn't help me.
So I became suicidal and tried to die.
I thought i got over it.


I might not be completely over it.
I still suffer from depression and anxiety, even though I take medication daily for both.

So I try to look for humorous things to make me feel better on my down days. Hilarious blogs, pictures, silly things I see in everyday life.

IDK what my future will be like at the moment.

My favorite animal is the cat. Cats are loyal companions who don't demand too much attention. they also make for funny memes.
My cat is 10 years old but still extremely sweet. Felines are lazy, like yours truly.
There are so many reasons why I like cats, I could list them all day, but I'll just end there.

My second favorite animal is the dog, with the exception of certain breeds.
I happen to also have 2 chihuahuas/chihuahua mixes in my family. They are soooooooooooooooooooo very annoying. In the future, I would like a labradoodle instead of a small ratdog.

Also. One of my favorite animes is durarara and I have a weird thing for Nasujima. Don't ask why. Sankyou.









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