Friday, November 30, 2012

FML - having to eat when not wanting to eat

Fuck my life 

So basically I stuffed my face with both a bagel and the tiniest bit of Chinese Lo Mein for "lunch" today. I don't want to convince my father that I'm turning into an anorexic.

I wasn't supposed to eat anything for lunch.
Now I'm gonna gain back the weight I've possibly lost over the period of not consuming lunch for most of the week. Maybe if I sleep in tomorrow I can avoid eating in both the morning and afternoon.


Can't remember the last time I weighed under 120 lbs.
Definitely not gonna get there faster if I keep this up

It's not like I want to be a skeleton, I explained that in an earlier post.

I just want to be skinny.

I'm sick inside the head, aren't I?

-unnecessary and short post- Bitches insist that Internet Explorer doesn't suck as a browser- I beg to differ

I've been using Firefox as a browser since I was around 12/13 years old- basically since I realized that IE sucked as a browser and that Firefox seemed better. I also started to use FF for security reasons, IE had wondrous amounts of security holes and a terribad popup blocker. Ads were basically injecting my computer with all kinds of shit, shit designed to steal site passwords, precious information, etc. At one time, the infamous Security Tool was installed on my computer from a fake codec download. (Fake AVs are such a pain in the ass to remove)

Microsoft now insists that IE is bigger & better, but tbh, I doubt it.

Reasons why I think IE sucks 

(mind you, I've used the later IEs and they're only slightly better, but still suck, though on my current XP computer I haven't updated IE since like version 8. Not worried though, since fucking nobody cares about it anymore, and it idles on the desktop, waiting for someone to care about its existence):

* No useful apps/add-ons - Want to block ads? IE, last time I checked, does not have its own version of Adblock, a very powerful FF & Chrome addon that almost completely obliterates all forms of annoying advertising. In fact, I'm very sure that IE does not even have its own app/addon site, let alone AB or Noscript. The lack of helpful apps definitely contributes to the crap security.

* Popup blocker - doesn't block cat shit. When I first discovered MF and illegal downloading in general, when IE was still my main browser, almost no popups would be blocked, despite the fact that the 'popup blocker' was functioning.

* Security - There's security holes in every browser, but IMHO, IE probably has the most.
No comment besides that.
Although it's not any worse than some browsers freshly installed, it's still the worst one to use, and pails in comparison to its competitors.

* SLOW AS FUCK LOADING - my computer is slow in general, but Firefox , even with Sandboxie added, tends to work decently, albeit a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiit slower than I want it to. But IE is the worst in the [blank] is loading department. Pages tend to take forever to show up, and sometimes IE will just stop responding altogether if the site has too much content.


* YouTube ads - should be part of the No Useful Apps section, but the ads on YouTube are very irritating.

Well, that was crap.

In conclusion, Don't use IE.

The only thing it is literally good for is downloading another browser.

-Thanks for reading a really lame passage about a lame browser from yours truly, I apologize for not being moar descriptive.-

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Possible K-Pop diets so I can slim my ass down to a size 4 again.

Idol Diets:

CW: 120something lbs (less than 130 now, maybe 125 or slightly lower)
GW: 115-117 lbs

Outright Proof That Almost All Kpop Idols Weigh Under 50 Kilos.
With the exception of a few girls, who weigh 50 kilos or even more (Julianne), almost all k-idols are under that weight.  Are they most likely all those acutal weights? No, but pretty damn close to them

And let me tell you right now, none of them are healthy, even normal Korean chicks weigh more than them. 160+ cm and under 50 kilos does not equal a healthy body, ya understand dat, bitches? These manufactured little popstars are starved in order to look so skinny. Celebs in America will starve themselves too, this 'thin' trend is not only unique to Korea, it happens wherever there are major print magazines featuring anorexics wearing slutty little slips and slutty little ass shorts. 

 YET I WANT THEIR FIGURES. IDK if it's my own personal issues or society that's making me feel this way, perhaps it's just being the way I am with fat 36/38 inch hips and a non ant (27 in) waist, and thicker thighs. I'm not going to mention my wonderbewbs because they are the only outstanding feature on my mid & lower body.  

But I wish to do something about my weight and get down to 55 kilos or lower again because I am sick and freaking tired of feeling like people look at me as a fat girl.

So here is a list of things I am willing to do in order to obtain the figure I desire so muuuuuch.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Bland thanksgiving- boring holiday, and a car for Christmas

to sum up my Thanksgiving week off - YAWN

I did nothing of importance except jog/walk outside to tighten up my saggy thighs
watch TV, listen to music, computer. Normal, mundane activities, that would've been done on any given day. Didn't even shop on Black Friday because stores are batshit cray-cray during Black Friday.  I repeat, YAWN.

Thanksgiving was blah also, my mother invited her BF and his bitchy daughter over. All the bitch of a daughter did was apply her makeup and shut herself in the bathroom and strew her cigarette butts all over the lawn. The girl got involved with drugs and shit a few years back and hasn't been nice since, if anything she's been a little viper. And she used to be a good person.

I almost puked on Thanksgiving, so I barely ate anything. The leftovers were as bland as the actual event. The dishes were worse, though I was luckily not stuck with the chore of cleaning them.

The only exciting thing is that I now officially own a car, technically? It's basically my major Christmas present, along with learning how to drive. It belonged to my grandma, who is now cooped up in an old folk's home - memory problems, she suffers from them, is almost as old as me, but is in good condition, so no complaints, it's a fuckin' car!

 Now all I need is a handbook, lessons, and the test, and BAM, I am a registered 16 y/o driver!

And then I can get a job in case the RIAA sues my ass

brb guys downloading Ke$ha's new album in deluxe edition ♥
Next few days will probably bring forth a SNSD Girls And Peace Leak too.
Fuck Yea Guy.jpg ~ AGAIN

Find Me & My Fat Ass on Photobucket & Imgur!

So, I have like 3 imgur accounts now (though they mostly consist of anime MOEBLOB pictures, memes, and a FEW ugly pictures of myself)

And I have a photobucket with over 6K uploads, and all dem pictures only take up like 50% of the space that PB allows. I really should delete about half of them, lots of duplicates and unnecessary photos

 Compared to imgur, photobucket is better space wise (as imgur only allows 225 images per account to be publicly shown, but it's also the only image host that my school doesn't blacklist   -derp- ) though the PB site has always been much slower to load, at least for me. Imgur will also go down for maintenance or be 'over capacity' more often, but it still wins in the loading department because it loads fasterrrrrrr. The same can't be said for Photobucket. IDGAF if my computer is slow, because even on a faster machine also known as the laptop that my bitchy little prick of a sister stole and does not even use anymore, it still takes a shitload of time to load.

Anyway, onto the shit:

--Main Imgur--
--Second Imgur--
--3rd Imgur--

-- My One & Only Photobucket Account--

Saturday, November 24, 2012

the shitty introduction

Well, what can I say? I'm a 16 year old, a procrastinator, a pirate, I like various types of music.

My name's Audrey, I wish my parents had opted for something more common. My original name would've been Olivia.

I have a very active and, for lack of a better word - BAD - self image complex, regarding my weight especially. I'm fat by model and azn standards yet I am considered skinny by general US standards- (because 160lbs and 5'3 is the average height and weight here - there's a reason we are all stereotyped as obese) but either way I continue to attack myself. Like, you're an ugly fat bitch with fat cheeks and a fat face and you need to lose weight because you need to be a size 0. I want to be 50 kilos like freaking Yoona like now. Not a whale 59 kgs - plz. Genetics went wrong with me because I'm not tall or thin or short and thin. I'm a nasty little pig in a family of polished models.

The physical features I sort of actually like about myself are my eyes and my boobs. :P but that sure doesn't make up for all my emofagging about my other less than stellar body parts.

I hate, no, I strongly DETEST school, though what I hate the most about my school is my simplistic idiot schoolmates (with the exception of a few NICE PEOPLE and the person I have feelings for) and my shitty selection of online classes. So I often find myself distracted and unable to complete certain assignments.

I pirate most of my music though when I do buy the RIAA's shit, I buy a decent amount of it. I am afraid of getting my ass sued. The MAFIAA probably doesn't care if I'm under 18, as long as they're able to sue the shit out of me. I hate our fascist little music industry, I hate the fascist music groups all around the world, and yet I still buy their products. I am terrible.

I like JP music and anime, but I don't go around yelling out in random Japanese, or wearing crazy ass little cat tails, or milanoo Lolita dresses (ew). In other words, I dabble in Japanese culture but I don't go around creepin' people out with weeaboo behavior; I've already gone through that stage, mmmmkkk? Same thing goes for Korea except it's just music. I don't spurt out various Korean phrases or call my superiors oppars and unnies. I just like Korean music. I technically have no bias either.
I'm 5'5. I wish to be taller, but not giant.
Brown hair, brown eyes, freckles; my face is bland. White as wonderbread, like my profile description says.

If I had to pick one school subject as my favorite, it would be history/social studies.

If I had to pick my most hated subject, it'd be math. I actually used to be among the top math students during my earlier school years, but when I began taking the dreaded algebra i, that all changed. Good 'ol high level math, my worst enemy.

Divorce sucks.
End of story.
I am hesitant to reveal my entire bitchy past....
So I'm going to say this and this alone.
I used to slit my wrists out of anger, pain, and hate. People would bully me, emotionally mostly, though sometimes physically- call me more than unkind names (some choice words: slut, fat, bitch, fugly, ho, worst person ever). I had some friends but even their defenses couldn't help me.
So I became suicidal and tried to die.
I thought i got over it.

I might not be completely over it.
I still suffer from depression and anxiety, even though I take medication daily for both.

So I try to look for humorous things to make me feel better on my down days. Hilarious blogs, pictures, silly things I see in everyday life.

IDK what my future will be like at the moment.

My favorite animal is the cat. Cats are loyal companions who don't demand too much attention. they also make for funny memes.
My cat is 10 years old but still extremely sweet. Felines are lazy, like yours truly.
There are so many reasons why I like cats, I could list them all day, but I'll just end there.

My second favorite animal is the dog, with the exception of certain breeds.
I happen to also have 2 chihuahuas/chihuahua mixes in my family. They are soooooooooooooooooooo very annoying. In the future, I would like a labradoodle instead of a small ratdog.

Also. One of my favorite animes is durarara and I have a weird thing for Nasujima. Don't ask why. Sankyou.


Aka, Audrey goes searching for a legit, free, VPN for the iPhone and PC and comes up empty. Life isn't fair when you're a 16 year old with no job and no car, learning to drive, unable to pay for anything without the aid of relatives, friends, or parents, stuck at home with absolutely nothing important to do except listen to music and browse the hilarious, horrible, creepy, awesome and sometimes lame, internet.

What can I say about the RIAA, the MPAA, (or as I shall call them now, the MAFIAA, although not a legit term for them, fits quite nicely, as they are, like members of the Mafia, killing things, specifically pirates' links and content) and their efforts to obliterate piracy completely? Well, for starters, they mostly fail. I both LOL and breathe sighs of relief every time some bullshit anti-piracy bill or law is rejected. But, there are times when they succeed, as sad as I am to admit that.

THE MAFIAA was able to cease MU and arrest Kim Dotcom easily, with no SOPA, PIPA or ACTA-esque laws set in place. And now they're shoving the '6 Strikes' Piracy Policy down the throats of the internet service providers, mainly the top internet service providers (AT&T, Verizon, Time Warner, etc). What does this mean for the future of downloaders?

as I mentioned before, I need to find a VPN, or something (Tor?) to mask my downloading habits, because i highly doubt that the MAFIAA gives a wholehearted FUCK about if what I download, by US law, is considered 'infringed content' or not, as long as SOMEONE'S sorry ass is getting sued.

THEY WANT DAT MONEY BITCH, and they will go to great lengths to obtain dat cash, MORE SPECIFICALLY, YOUR CASH, N***GAS, as their mostly thwarted attempts to both override the second amendment and censor the world wide web prove.

But, what the MAFIAA does not seem to understand, the concept they do not want to grasp, is that many people cannot afford music, and that, supposedly, pirates actually tend to spend MORE on CDs, digital downloads and merch because they are such huge music fans.

While I can't speak for all pirates, I can honestly say that everytime I receive an iTunes card as a holiday present, I go and spend the somewhat hefty amount (25-100+ dollars depending on the event, which in my book is a decent amount of money, considering i generally have none on me) pretty quickly. $1.29 / $0.99 / $0.69 per song may not seem like a lot, but time flies when you're shopping online. The same goes for buying physical CDs, when I do buy them. I have a few import CDs that cost a fortune ($50+ dollars, not including tax, buying shit from Japan is NOT CHEAP) and since I rarely purchase used CDs, the total adds up pretty quickly. yeah, I might download more than that amount illegally, but I still do occasionally pay for music.

IDC if it's not considered 'my money' if I didn't earn it myself, because IMHO, once you are gifted money - it is therefore your money and yours to spend alone unless you choose to share it with someone else. Selfish sounding, I know.

Anyway, in short, the MAFIAA is just not doing anything to help me in this economic downfall and neither is my ISP.

I just want to download the music I love so much without having to buy it, Y U no understand me, MONEY STARVED CORPORATIONS?


PS: y'all know you've illegally downloaded or uploaded at least one thing in your lifetime. The Mugi picture in this post is probably copyrighted and I just might be using it unfairly! OHMAGAWD THE HORROR SOMEONE IS LOSING MONEY RIGHT NOW OHMAGAWD LET'S SUE AUDREY

You've probably illegally downloaded a .jpg of a cute furry kitten or koala and you didn't even know it. You probably illegally downloaded an mp3 when Napster was still up, alive, and functioning.

So remember that the next time you go and decide to chew someone out for piracy, whether it be IRL, through text or call, or on the internet!